My Story - to endure

A husband, a father, a friend, an addict. 

A Husband. To an incredible woman who has stood by my side, no matter the costs.

A Father. To two young kids who capture and embody the essence of life.

A Friend. Not to many, but a few.

An Addict. And here's where my story begins.

I've always been an addict, I will always be an addict. That fact is settling in - 

10 years of a viscous cycle that wouldn't let loose. 10 years of battling anxiety and depression. 10 years of driving everyone I loved away. 10 years of killing myself little, by little, by little. Yet, I continue to endure it, sometimes patiently, sometimes hastily. 

This picture was taken while I was in active addiction. It's a shame, it's one of the better ones I've taken. But no one would have ever known. My addiction was a secret that I was able to keep for many years, until I wasn't. Which ultimately ended up saving my life. 

This is my journey through addiction, into recovery, and ultimately redemption. 

On January 9th 2023, I got caught for what I thought would be the last time - and wanted to end it all. I saw no way out other than to end my life. Fortunately, my wife took me to the ER, where I then proceeded to a behavior hospital for the next couple of days being monitored as a suicide risk. It was at this point that we made plans to seek professional help.

I was a very functional alcoholic, so much so it was a huge surprise to my closest family members that I was checking myself into a three month residential treatment center. Most of my family has no idea that I went to treatment nor that I have a substance abuse problem.